Thursday, May 29, 2008

Three Years Later and a Stress Dream

The other night I had a stress dream reminiscent of college days. You know the kind, where you sleep through your final, or you forgot you were enrolled in a class? Only in this case, I forgot I was enrolled in any classes.

So in my dream, I started a full slate of winter semester classes at the beginning of January, only to have a baby on January 8th and stop attending. Completely. In real life, I would have taken the semester off if I was expecting a baby in January, or at least taken a few weeks off and then gotten a sitter so that I could finish out the semester. Of course, dreams aren't exactly rational or logical.

I remembered at some time in May (which incidentally is after winter semester has ended) that I was supposed to be taking classes, and I showed up at my Spanish class (30 minutes late, too, because I couldn't find the right room). I should have been embarrassed, but didn't think anything of it until the teacher cornered me after class and disgustedly asked me why I even bothered coming--I'd missed the entire semester. I asked what I could do to make up the work. At this point I felt so guilty and negligent and feared what my mother, who has taught college classes, would say about me--I'm just one of those lazy, ignorant students who falls off the face of the earth after the first week of school and then shows up for the final and expects a passing grade.

Then I had the daunting task of even remembering which other classes I was enrolled in. I think there was a math class, and an engineering class, and maybe physics? I'm not sure what I was studying--oh, and the hallways were my high school. Did I mention that I surprised myself when I remembered my locker combination after 4 months truant? They had redone the lockers, anyway, and there was some kind of paper-puncher in my locker that punched a hole every time you accessed it (kind of like a time clock?). Very strange. I could also reach into the lockers on either side of mine because they were not put together very close. But I digress. I couldn't decide which notebooks and textbooks to take with me to my mystery classes, so I just grabbed them all, and it was a lot to carry.

Right before I woke up I had been stressing about how to officially withdraw from my classes without a penalty--I was trying to access the course catalog with the rules on withdrawing, but they didn't publish the catalog on paper anymore (darn digital age!) so I had to get on a computer to look it up, and the computer was too slow, and somehow I got into a fight with someone next to me because they were making fun of me for some stupid, forgotten reason.

Anyway, I woke up to perplexedly reflect on this complex entanglement of high school, college, parenthood, and stress, which was contained all in one instantaneous dreamy image. Very, very strange. And I know for a fact that I haven't enrolled in any classes in nearly three years. I didn't believe my parents when they told me I would have college stress dreams 20 years after college, mostly because I never had stress dreams while I was in college (maybe because when I was stressed, I simply couldn't sleep). But now I understand. I completely understand.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Vote for David!!!


Need I say more?

Tonight is the night. Vote for your favorite David. I'll be watching devotedly and voting for David Cook. I have been pretty pleased with this season of American Idol, haven't you?

Oh, and last night on the news they showed a clip of Nigel Lythgoe(the Am Idol producer) annoucning that he plans to bring American Idol audtions to SLC next year. You better start practicing!!

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Quotes Revealed

Here are the answers to my quotes post, with a few extra gems for your reading enjoyment.

1. I want to buy eight hot dogs and eight hot dog buns to go with them. But no one sells eight hot dog buns. They only sell twelve hot dog buns. So I end up paying for four buns I don't need. So I am removing the superfluous buns. Father of the Bride

2. Thank yer, ladies and gentlemen; I want to get some eucalyptus candles--they make my apartment smell mossy. You've Got Mail

3. (singing) Harses, harses, harses, harses...; It was Miss Scarlet, in the closet, with a radio. Sleepless in Seattle

4. M-Maybe it's the power trying to come back on. Jurassic Park

5. Matchy green! Matchy, matchy green! Return to Me

6. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it. Ferris Bueller's Day Off

7. Help! Help! I'm being repressed! Did you see him repressing me? Monty Python and the Holy Grail

8. (1) I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed? (2)I think you can in Europe; (1) Where did you come from? Planet "Loser"? (2) As opposed to Planet "Look At Me, Look At Me"?; I'm thinking of getting a Tercel. Yeah, that's a Toyota; Black panties! 10 Things I Hate About You

9. Fresh creamery butter. Kate & Leopold

10. (1) I know Kung Fu. (2)Show me; I know what you're thinking--I should have taken the blue pill. The Matrix

11. I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability. As Good as it Gets

12. They're not gonna want to buy the whole friggin' ice cream truck when your handing out the popsicles for free!; Someone ate my entire pie! Never Been Kissed

13. (1) There's something the matter with this yogurt. (2) It's not yogurt, it's mayonnaise; I knew a girl at school called Pandora. Never did get to see her box, though; Can I get a glass of really really cold water? Unless of course it's illegal in the UK to serve water below room temperature. Notting Hill

14. Franch bread, Franch fries, Franch dressing, and to drink, Peru!; I know you don't like all the grease in fried bacon, so I boiled it. Better Off Dead

15. You're never gonna be Jell-O!;Hmm, death by mini-bar. How glamorous.; Maybe there won't be marriage, maybe there won't be sex, but by God there'll be dancing! My Best Friends Wedding

16. I'm sorry I o-ogled you. (2) I forgive you, but only because you stuttered. Stranger than Fiction

17. Nothing says romance like a kidnapped, injured woman! Stardust

18. I never told you, but you sound a little like Dr. Seuss when you're drunk. The Sixth Sense

19. Face it, girls, I'm older and I have more insurance. Fried Green Tomatoes

20. But I really want a painting!; Sold to you sir for $23,000 or $11,500 per buttock.; 1) You dog, you! 2) Yes, I am a bit of a dog. Mickey Blue Eyes

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

So Very Quotable

The following movie lines are so quotable that I bet you can identify the movie even though the line has nothing to do with the plot.

Here's how this is going to work: You get 5,000 fake points for every correct answer. If you can get the correct answer without looking it up or asking someone, you get double points. The person with the most fake points is the fake winner! Of course, if you know my favorite movies, you have a bit of an advantage. I'll put the answers up in a couple days--don't spoil it for the rest of us! (If you must prove your superiority in this game, I suppose you could email me your answers, but you would still only get fake points). Feel free to add your favorite quotes in the comments and then I can play too!

1. I want to buy eight hot dogs and eight hot dog buns to go with them. But no one sells eight hot dog buns. They only sell twelve hot dog buns. So I end up paying for four buns I don't need. So I am removing the superfluous buns.

2. Thank yer, ladies and gentlemen.

3. (singing) Harses, harses, harses, harses...

4. M-Maybe it's the power trying to come back on.

5. Matchy green! Matchy, matchy green!

6. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.

7. Help! Help! I'm being repressed! Did you see him repressing me?

8. (1) I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed? (2)I think you can in Europe.

9. Fresh creamery butter.

10. (1) I know Kung Fu. (2)Show me.

11. I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

12. They're not gonna want to buy the whole friggin' ice cream truck when your handing out the popsicles for free!

13. (1) There's something the matter with this yogurt. (2) It's not yogurt, it's mayonnaise.

14. Franch bread, Franch fries, Franch dressing, and to drink, Peru!

15. You're never gonna be Jell-O!

16. I'm sorry I o-ogled you.

17. Nothing says romance like a kidnapped, injured woman!

18. I never told you, but you sound a little like Dr. Seuss when you're drunk.

19. Face it, girls, I'm older and I have more insurance.

20. But I really want a painting!

Monday, May 12, 2008

My Happy Mother's Day

I'm so grateful for my little ones who make me a Mother. I'm grateful to my dear honey who I can share the parenting adventure with. He thoughtfully gave me some Mother's Day gifts, let me sleep in a little, and made me chocolate chip pancakes. Yum!


Monday, May 05, 2008

Potty Training Woes

Today is day 13 of potty training. Progress is slow, but we are making progress. I'd like to know how a 2 year old's bladder can possibly hold it all for eight hours before bed and still wake up dry the next morning. I'd also like to know how it is possible to smear poop all over the toilet seat without actually getting any in the toilet.

I have employed all means possible to entice this kid into using the potty: M&M's to sit, cookies, fruit snacks, candy when she goes, even the opportunity to play with bubbles in the sink or jump on the neighbor's tramp, a sticker chart with bigger toys as rewards for getting enough stickers. I've even promised her a trip to Chuck-E-Cheese when she fills her entire sticker chart. I've also found strategic ways to "trick" her into actually going when she's sitting: putting her hand in a cup of warm water, running the faucet, using a doll or teddy bear to show her how its done. Lets just say this kid has way to much candy and TV time these days just so I can get her to sit on the potty long enough to accidentally go while she's not paying attention.

I have to give some credit to my little girl who really wants to wear Mickey Mouse panties and has been heard to say "Poor Tinkerbell..." when Tinkerbell has to get scrubbed out in the toilet because of an accident. And we are getting somewhere.

I think I should get rewards every time she goes, because this sure is a lot of work!