Friday, January 07, 2011

The Unbroken Circle

January 1, 2011, American Fork Hospital, Utah



Grandma had suffered mutli-organ failure, including damage to her lungs, heart, liver and kidneys. She was on a ventilator, which was forcing air into her lungs, and she was sedated so as not to choke or gag on the tubes. There was existing damage to her lungs from previous bouts of blood clots, and the other organ damage was due to reduced oxygen levels and a suspected virus. After receiving a priesthood blessing from Uncle Bill, the tubes were removed at about 2:45pm. Once the tubes were removed, she was able to breathe independently, and her oxygen level was remarkably high, although her blood pressure was very low, about 40 over 30. I think that would make anyone pass out; Grandma did not wake up at this point.

She seemed to sleep very peacefully, although her legs were jumpy as always, and she sneezed a lot. Gradually, her breathing rate decreased until after a while, there was no longer a blood pressure reading, and she stopped taking breaths. It was evident at this point that her face was no longer pink with life. It was about 4:00pm when the nurses turned off the monitors. I don't think we noticed the actual moment that she died, it was so gradual and peaceful.

During the hours that we sat with Grandma (my Aunt/Uncles and cousins), we looked at pictures of her as a young child and a young woman, we told stories, and sang hymns. We kept inviting her to set the record straight if we messed up any of the facts. I even offered to change my hair back to blond if only she would make her dying wish known, but she did not respond. The last hymn we sang was “Abide with me, Tis Eventide”.

We did a tally of how many there are in her progeny. There are 6 kids, 26 grandkids, and 49 great-grandkids, with 4 on the way. She came to Utah to spend Christmas with my Aunt Sue in Lehi, and was beating everyone at cards, shopping my cousin into the ground, playing with her new iPod until the very end. She was blessed to go quickly, without pain and prolonged suffering. That is a pretty good way to go.

When she was a young mom, she had a major illness during which she had a near death experience, viewing her body from above, conversing with the Savior and her daddy, and at that time asked to stay on earth and raise her children and finish her earthly mission. That she did indeed. I can imagine a similar greeting for her this time, only having completed a good and faithful earthly mission, she is rejoicing in going home to her parents, her husband, her infant daughter, and the hundreds of ancestors she's done temple work for over the years.

January 7, 2011, Plano/Dallas, Texas

Today was Grandma's funeral. It was a beautiful service. The flowers were beautiful. The people were beautiful. The music was beautiful. All of her children spoke and the granddaughters sang "I know that my redeemer lives." Funerals are always bittersweet, because of course we will miss our dear Grandmother, but we are happy that she can go home, she is released from her failing mortal body, she can be with loved ones on the other side, and we have the vital knowledge of eternal families and the resurrection.

Grandma was a friend to everyone. She was a missionary. She was always optimistic. She was a storyteller. She was adventerous. She was a go-getter and a problem solver and a giver and an entrepreneur. She never quit. She was beloved.

She has now taken her much anticipated and well deserved place in the family circle that exists around the glorious heavenly throne. There is a place for all of us in that circle. It was Grandma's wish that "God be with you 'till we meet again," for we will in fact meet again. And we will form an unbroken circle around the throne of glory.

Grandma would sign off "Keep Prayed Up."

Pictured Below
1: Elizabeth and I in our graduation robes in '05. One of the many times Grandma bounced right out of the hospital.
2/3: Benac Reunion in Park City, Utah, July 2006.
4: Grandma, Rebecca and Paul visiting my home in Provo in December '08.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Sunday, November 28, 2010

16 Weeks plus Thanksgiving Dinner


Here is that standard side-shot of the pregnancy-in-process. I was very full after having just eaten Thanksgiving and its fixings, therefore it was a very good opportunity for the obligatory photo. Before you comment on whether or not you think I'm skinny for 16 weeks, please see the rules.

We had a superb time with the Swensons of Las Vegas for the Thanksgiving weekend, and all 6 children ages 5 and under got along famously. The little 2 year olds were especially cute admiring Ben, who is only 2 months old; the 4 and 5 year olds mastered the art of imaginative play famously. The adults were fully occupied by keeping all the little ones fed and clean (and making sure all the bleeds had band-aids), followed by keeping the kitchen clean, and discovered that engineering ginger bread houses is best left to engineers. There is hardly the need to leave the house much when there are more little kids than adults.

Liz showed me how possible it is to be a mom of twice as many kids as arms and to keep a house organized all without losing your mind, and I think it all comes down to that iPod touch...

We are especially grateful for good friends; For the option to simply sit around and swap stories; to laugh at ourselves and analyze family dynamics, figuring out why everyone needs therapy and how we will mess up our own kids and ensure them a spot in therapy, too; For good friends who have to like you even though they know all the dirt there is to know about you. And now our kids have no choice but to like each other by nature of being 4th generation friends. Isn't that great?


Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Criteria

It's kind of like a quiz. To see what baby names you can come up with that fit my criteria.

1. Traditional but not too popular. And not made up. And it has to be spelled normally, like you could find it on a license plate keychain.

2. Our first two have biblical names that are two syllables. That works, but is not a requirement. Obviously we are not doing the same first initial for everyone; that's not my style.

3. It has to work with our last name and our other kids names. I've had perfect strangers advise me not to name any of our children Richard. I think I'm smart enough to know that. And I'm even going to make sure their initials don't spell something weird.

4. It has to be gender specific. That rules out Taylor and Jordan (and many others).

5. And I have to like it. So even though the name Jared fits the criteria, it makes me think of the Subway guy.

Everyone has a right to name their kid whatever they want, so of course I don't intend to offend anyone. These are my personal preferences for my kids.

Can you think of baby names that fit these criteria? Hopefully you will think of some that I haven't thought of yet. And vote on the sidebar on what you think it will be, a boy or a girl. We will probably find out the baby's gender some time after Christmas.

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Pregnancy Rules

Three simple rules. That's all.

1. Prego is an Italian word meaning "I pray" and is used in response to "thank you." It is also a popular and very tasty brand of pasta sause. Please don't use this word to describe me.

2. Please don't tell me "You're so small!" It seems about the same as saying "You're huge!" Likewise, "You do not look __(number between 12 and 40)__ weeks!" seems just as pointless. Why do people feel the need to comment on the size of your middle, small or big? I'm putting in my time and feel as pregnant as I am supposed to.

On the other hand, if you feel that you absolutely must comment on how a pregnant woman looks, "You look terrific!" is always nice to hear, whether or not it is true.

3. Horror Stories. Yeah, I know my fair share of pregnancy, delivery, and misscarriage horror stories. There is a time and a place for swapping stories of this type, but please not in front of me while I'm pregnant.

I feel like pukeing constantly and I have never felt more tired in my life. Soon I will be comiserating about sciatic nerve pain, eventually about kicks to the kidneys and my hips being sore from sleeping, and having to pee every 20 minutes. And the reflux. There are more things that I have blissfully forgotten that will soon come back to memory with fondness. I'm not complaining, I'm just telling you so that you don't have to ask me how I'm feeling unless you really want to know.

If you are itching for a way to help me out, I'd be happy to lend you my first two children so that I can take a nap, provided that they are returned with Cafe Rio take out (hold the cilantro) and that Samuel comes back potty trained. There is also a mop in my closet that could use a pass on my kitchen floor, because I'm really not in the mood for mopping right now.