Friday, October 23, 2009

I have 300 children...

"Are you having a bake sale?"

"No, I just have 300 children"

Well, it's actually 332. Or 334 if you count Leah and Samuel.

This is what I was asked today when I purchased over 1000 eggs at Sam's Club. I always get strange looks when I load up my shopping cart with 40 pounds of zucchini, or 20 bags of spinach, or 200 pounds of flour, or 14 half-gallons of ice cream. Those innocent bystandards must think I have a very unbalanced diet.

If you must know, I am not shopping for myself, I am a grocery shopper by trade, and I get paid to do it. I am the official food buyer for all the cooking classes at BYU, or "Food Procurement Specialist" if you want to sound official. There are 17 classes per week; 332 students, 4 instructors, a dozen TA's, a lab manager, and me! (And where would a cooking class be without its food.) You see, I'm quite essential, and I love being essential in a way that doesn't involve feces or diaper rash.

(Come on, you know how much I really do love being a mother)

And I'm needed as much today as I will be tomorrow, for there are always food emergencies. Such as "The students used too much parsley, and the lettuce froze at the back of the fridge," or "the students ruined their stir-fry so we need more millet" or "Someone opened the mayo and didn't put it in the fridge." You get the idea. Yesterday it was ice cream and honey, today its onions and cilantro. What will be the crisis of tomorrow? I can now identify such things as acorn squash, leeks, and mung bean sprouts (although I don't think I will have any.)

There was that one time the bottom of my onion box broke and I had onions rolling in ten different directions and into the street. Or that time when the ice on top of my two cases of broccoli melted and I flooded the walk-in fridge in a matter of one kickboxing class. And that one time I accidentally ordered an 11 pound block of cheese instead of 1 (1 lb) block of cheese. (parenthesis---overrated!)

When purchasing such things as 10 boxes of Red Hots Candies, 48 candy bars, 14 heads of cabbage, 12 pounds of tofu, 20 lbs of frozen raspberries, 32 tomatoes, or in todays case, 90 dozen eggs, I try to come up with answers such as "Oh, I just really like cabbage. I eat it three times a day" or "I'm on a chocolate-only diet." You get the idea. "Haven't you heard of the tomato/raisin home remedy?"

Whenever I explain the contents of such a grocery cart, I am always admired for having such an interesting job. It is so unique, yet perfectly fitting that someone like me should shop (albeit for groceries) for a living!

In a nutshell, it is a very cool job and I work with awesome people. I always know what is on sale. I occasionally get to eat yummy things. I have a chance to miss my children for 18 hours a week. (I get paid!) And of course, college student TA's make great babysitters.


Stacie said...

And here I thought you were going to say you are the new Primary President. :)

angela michelle said...

so you just buy at regular stores? I thought you had some wholesale vendor or something.

I had the Primary pres thought too--but that would be one serious Primary!

david and michal said...

ha ha!! so what's the tomato/raisin remedy best used for?... ;.)

Jessica Munk said...

Sounds like a pretty good deal going on there! Let me know when you have to quit ;)

Chris Fosdick said...

If you want to have 332 to 334 kids we need to get busy. We would just need to figure out how to pay for that much food and who would do all the cooking. We could be like Chris and Jen Plus 310, except for the whole broken marriage thing. Throughout the course of the show Kate got a tummy tuck and John got a hair transplant. Hmmm?!

Petersen Palace said...

haha Chris is a crack up! If Sam's is ever out of eggs, be prepared to build a chicken coop with 300 chickens :) I'm glad you get to miss your kids, they play great over here. :) I've used leeks once...they are kind of like expensive green onions. Didn't really notice a difference. Enjoy!

Unknown said...

Fun! It is great that you get to work at a job that you really enjoy. Those are the best kinds of jobs;-)

Rebecca said...

You make it sound like so much fun! Those are great come backs to the questions.

And that 10 lb block of cheese story is pretty funny...

Mom said...

You always have loved to shop, and you do a great job picking out the best things! I wish I could have you do the shopping for me.

Eric & Gretchen said...

Eric and I are back in Provo. He started the MBA Program. They are doing a marketing project that involves Costco. I thought you might be able to help him. Here is what he wrote about it.
Thanks Gretchen!
We should get together sometime. Plus I would love to know who baby sits for you. I am working 2 days a week and am still trying to get it all figured out.

Read below if you are
someone who is CRAZY for COSTCO!!

Are you or have you been a small business owner, purchaser for your
family or a social events coordinator who has used Costco as your
first stop in meeting your group's needs. We are looking for all those
who can't live without Costco, its free samples, gigantic electronics
or food court. If this sounds like you, we would like to interview you
as to why you are cuckoo for Costco. Please respond back to to set up an appointment. (Let's just say there
may be free samples for anyone who participates!!)


P.S. Little known Costco factoid. The $1.50 price for the hotdog/soda
combo has been unchanged since 1983. How's that for a price point!!