"Are you having a bake sale?"
"No, I just have 300 children"
Well, it's actually 332. Or 334 if you count Leah and Samuel.
This is what I was asked today when I purchased over 1000 eggs at Sam's Club. I always get strange looks when I load up my shopping cart with 40 pounds of zucchini, or 20 bags of spinach, or 200 pounds of flour, or 14 half-gallons of ice cream. Those innocent bystandards must think I have a very unbalanced diet.
If you must know, I am not shopping for myself, I am a grocery shopper by trade, and I get paid to do it. I am the official food buyer for all the cooking classes at BYU, or "Food Procurement Specialist" if you want to sound official. There are 17 classes per week; 332 students, 4 instructors, a dozen TA's, a lab manager, and me! (And where would a cooking class be without its food.) You see, I'm quite essential, and I love being essential in a way that doesn't involve feces or diaper rash.
(Come on, you know how much I really do love being a mother)
And I'm needed as much today as I will be tomorrow, for there are always food emergencies. Such as "The students used too much parsley, and the lettuce froze at the back of the fridge," or "the students ruined their stir-fry so we need more millet" or "Someone opened the mayo and didn't put it in the fridge." You get the idea. Yesterday it was ice cream and honey, today its onions and cilantro. What will be the crisis of tomorrow? I can now identify such things as acorn squash, leeks, and mung bean sprouts (although I don't think I will have any.)
There was that one time the bottom of my onion box broke and I had onions rolling in ten different directions and into the street. Or that time when the ice on top of my two cases of broccoli melted and I flooded the walk-in fridge in a matter of one kickboxing class. And that one time I accidentally ordered an 11 pound block of cheese instead of 1 (1 lb) block of cheese. (parenthesis---overrated!)
When purchasing such things as 10 boxes of Red Hots Candies, 48 candy bars, 14 heads of cabbage, 12 pounds of tofu, 20 lbs of frozen raspberries, 32 tomatoes, or in todays case, 90 dozen eggs, I try to come up with answers such as "Oh, I just really like cabbage. I eat it three times a day" or "I'm on a chocolate-only diet." You get the idea. "Haven't you heard of the tomato/raisin home remedy?"
Whenever I explain the contents of such a grocery cart, I am always admired for having such an interesting job. It is so unique, yet perfectly fitting that someone like me should shop (albeit for groceries) for a living!
In a nutshell, it is a very cool job and I work with awesome people. I always know what is on sale. I occasionally get to eat yummy things. I have a chance to miss my children for 18 hours a week. (I get paid!) And of course, college student TA's make great babysitters.
1 year ago