Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The Anti-Atkins (non)Diet

For breakfast I had cereal with milk. For lunch, I had an all-fruit smoothie. In between I snacked on strawberry yougurt, a handful of LIFE cereal here and there, a glass of juice, a handful of popcorn, a tasty treat with my daugther as she celebrates having gone potty. I did have a redeeming dinner of chicken pot pie, and I even ate all my vegetables. Then, just for the fun of it, I thawed some cookie dough and did some baking. Now I can tell that this is not exactly a well-rounded (or should I say well-squared) diet, and my digestive system is not exactly rejoicing. And I know this is not the way to shed the baby pounds, which I've professed as an important goal. And for the record, I don't eat like this every day. But here's what I want to know: What is it about depression that makes it seem like too much work to cook or eat right? Or get dressed, for that matter? I knowingly missed lunch and sat there for over an hour listening to my growling stomach...willing myself not to eat? I don't understand.


Nancy Sabina said...

Ummmm, I don't know what it is with depression - but I do know what it is with life. That sounds pretty normal to me. Either that or I'm depressed and don't know it. Life has ups and downs and eating does too. Especially right after I have a baby I have such a hard time changing my habits. You've spent (or at least I do) 9 months telling yourself that's allowed because your pregnant and then all of the sudden you're supposed to switch back to eating healthy all the time. Sure. Easy peasy, right? NO! My baby is 14 months old and I'm still working on switching back. Cut yourself some slack. Don't wallow but ease up. Bad days/weeks/months happen.

Nancy Sabina said...

Also, I really want an entire pan of brownies right now and the only thing stopping me is laziness. Not the fact that I'll hate myself in the morning or it's fattening or whatever. Just laziness.

Anonymous said...

Cereal, milk, fruit, chicken pie, veggies. Sounds great to me. I don't feel like a failure til I eat a bag of chocolate chips The brownie suggestion sounds good too. Mom

PS Make a list of the things you accomplish. You'll be amazed how long it is:
Feed the baby
Change the baby
Feed Leah
Potty train Leah
Feed the baby
Feed yourself
Make a phone call
Bring in the mail
Pay a bill
Feed the baby
It all counts.

david & michal coombs said...

jenny, remember that you are surrounded by people who want you to succeed not for them, but for you! every little step is what makes you you. i learned an interesting concept in my modifying behavior class this semester: change doesn't happen until the reward for changing outweighs the reward for not changing.
so remove all other confounding variables--depression, baby, 2 year old, cleaning, diet, etc.--and you are left with you. wonderful, college-grad, intelligent you. take sleeping in for a random example, YOU (NOT your depression, your diet, your baby, etc) are going to sleep until 10 because it's rewarding to sleep until 10. well, the only way you are going to get up at 7 or 8 is if the reward for waking up at that time means more to YOU (not your depression, your diet, your baby, etc) than the reward for sleeping in.
separate YOU from the variables that you feel control your life--make lists, even, so you have something visible/tangible--make a list of YOU and a list of the variables. YOU have much more stamina, strength, determination, courage, loveliness, kick-butt attitude than you think you do. own yourself--YOU are worth it!!

angela michelle said...

Sounds like pretty normal behavior to me too. I like your mom's suggestion.

Jacob & Clarissa said...

Jenny, I just want you to know that you eat way better than I do and I have one child and no depression. Just sitting here thinking about it, I'm kind of glad I haven't counted the number of cookies I've had today so that I can't tell you!

- Clarissa

The Stiles Family said...

You think that is eating bad? Man, if I ate like that I would look even skinnier than I am now, which is actually pretty dangerous.

I know how you feel about the depression. I have been struggling with it myself for YEARS. Just when I think I am over ti, it comes right back again. It's like a constant battle. It's a hormonal imbalance, but I am not willing to take meds, so I deal with it the best I can. I have my good days, and I have days when I wish I were dead. If you ever need a good ear from someone who understands, don't hesitate to call me!