I wrote that blog title at 2:00 this morning because I was blogging in my head while I was up feeding the baby. Here's why:
Since I've been following this season of American Idol, I've once again become obsessed with wanting to audition just to see how far I could make it--rather, I'm curious if Simon wouldn't turn me away at the door. One day a couple years ago I started memorizing the words to and practicing a Nellie Furtado song because the auditions were coming to SLC and so I needed to learn a really hip song. (Of course, now that I'm older and wiser, I know you could sing the national anthem for all they care...) I chickened out, or rather wasn't in the least bit committed and likely forgot. But really, I'm curious if the judges would like me.
Please journey with me through the musings of a sleep-deprived hopeful...
There are several problems with my American Idol dream that filter through my mind while I'm up in the middle of the night. First, what would I sing for my audition? I used to think I would sing a Jewel song, but then last season they had Jewel as a guest judge during auditions. How mortifying would that be to sing a Jewel song in front of Jewel? There's always Dixie Chicks, but somehow I don't think that would bode well with Simon (don't get me started on what I think of Simon...)
It occurred to me at 2:00am that without question I would sing "Misty," which has become my signature song and which I even sang for my husband at our wedding reception. The best part is that I've never heard a recording of it, so how I sing it is all me, and I know the words like the back of my hand.
Second problem: I'm a huge copycat. Humor me and lets just imagine that I was really good and got to, say, the top 12. Doing popular covers week after week, the judges would catch on that I sing them all exactly like the original artist and would criticize me for my lack of individuality and personality and whatever. The real question is, what style do I sing? and I really don't know. I don't have my own style. My favorite songs to sing are very classical, operatic, or from a musical, and as I said already, anything on the radio I sing exactly how I hear it. (Of course, at 2am it doesn't occur to me that perhaps there is a more refined talent competition I could enter...)
Lets not forget to mention that I am a terrible performer, can't dance a lick, I'm awful at remembering lyrics, and I take any kind of criticism or rejection way too personally. Plus, I just don't look the part of the next American Idol.
Okay. It's out of the closet: I want to be the next American Idol. All things considered, I'm still just a little curious.
1 year ago