Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Why I hide my toothbrush

As a married couple, you share a lot. Germs, bedroom, kitchen table, dessert, all your insecurities, the list goes on...

I think we may be the only ones that choose not to share a bed sheet--we each just like being able to twist and wrap to our little hearts contentment without having to fight over the sheet's midline in our sleep. (Hey, at least we share a bed, right?) But there are just some things you don't share with your spouse. I'm talking about my toothbrush. I am very particular on this point.

On many occasions in the past five years I have arrived at the bathroom sink only to find my toothbrush either missing or freshly wet. What can this possibly mean, you ask? It means that my honey forgot which one was his and commandeered mine. Sure enough, I'll find it in the shower (where he brushes) or when I ask him he'll say "I thought mine was the green one!" "No, yours is blue, because you're a boy." I have no idea how many times this happens that it goes undetected by me--let's just say ignorance is bliss. As much as I love the man, if I know its been in his mouth, I can't stand the thought of using it again. I relinquish all claim on it and get out a new one. The last time he used my toothbrush and we had no spares, I actually started crying (okay, so I was two weeks post-partum, that might've had something to do with it).

When I ventured out to buy a new toothbrush that time, I bought a bright pink one and a bright purple one--girly colors. So now my toothbrush is pink (because I'm a girl) and the purple one was stashed in my drawer for when I was ready to replace my toothbrush. There's no way a man would willingly pick up a pink or a purple toothbrush, right? Wrong! One evening he comes into the bedroom ready to tuck in and cheerfully announces, "I couldn't remember which toothbrush was mine," (of the three in the house he's stolen from me, of course--they're all his but the pink one) "...so I got out a new one. It's purple!"

Now there are two toothbrushes perched anxiously in their holder: pink and purple. No matter how hard I try, it's only a matter of time.

7 comments:

Stacie said...

My roommate accidently used mine in college! At least you like him.

michal & david coombs said...

ha ha ha ha!! i am laughing so hard right now. i have the same yucky thoughts! i once used my little brother's tooth brush by accident and i was mortified. i have a hard time sticking my own tooth brush in my mouth day after day and day--what collects on it, i wonder?!

Chris Fosdick said...

I don't think purple is a "girly" color. I even have a purple shirt that matches the toothbrush. I wish I could wear the toothbrush as an accessory. I'll just walk around with it in my mouth when I wear my purple.

Chris

Elizabeth said...

Amen, Chris. Maybe lavender is "girly," but definitely not purple. And even lavender is not as girly as, say, light yellow.

(SIDE QUESTION: Why do some light colors have a completely different name, but not others? Light purple is lavender, light red is pink, light blue is... light/baby blue.)

But I would like to mention I don't think I'll ever pick Chris as my fashion accessory consultant. :)

Anonymous said...

We soak our toothbrushes and retainers in the bubbly antiseptic solution every day and we think we have fewer colds since we started doing so. We DO NOT share toothbrushes, but here is true confession: we share one container of bubbly stuff. Our toothbrushes and retainers soak together all day long. We think that's how we got 4 kids. Mom

Angela said...

I am so with you. I realize my husband and I share germs pretty comprehensively, but I just don't want to share my toothbrush or deoderant.

Joshua said...

This post is etertaining and might I suggest sexist? Purple is the color of Royalty Chris...and you're a King in my book!

PS: "Pink is the new Black"